I know it’s Vday! (when I wrote this post!) I used to despise the holiday.
Two years ago, I remember sitting in the middle of Chambers Street crying to my friends on how alone and empty I was feeling. I wanted to be committed to Bellevue until the day is over because the pain of being single was too unbearable. Tad bit dramatic- indeed but it is a true story. Over the past couple of years my relationship with myself have changed dramatically. I have expanded my circle of friends beyond of the old college buddies and work friends, into various communities of others who are making magic happen. I have adopted new practices that increased the amount of love I was willing to receive as well as to give.
On this holiday, I am excited to share my love basket!
My love “basket” is essentially the tools that I have picked up that allowed me to expand and bring more love into my life. Think of it as a basket full of flowers that gets delivered each day to you for the purpose of loving it all the way.
What’s in my love basket?
- Loving nourishing communities of others seeking growth. This includes but not limited to the following groups 12 step, Shrink Sessions, Mama Gena’s, IIN March 2012 fellows, friends from work, clients that I am working with, old sorority connections. The theme of these relationships is that I feel comfortable sharing my authentic self, they take me higher, they are the loving mirrors I can view life through. These relationships are not toxic because I do have a choice to establish boundaries when I need to, practice honesty and transparency and being willing to confront if needed. This has been an on-going process but it can be done. 2 years ago this was a far far away dream.
- Daily Gratitude, Desire and Bragging practice. For the past few years I started with a daily gratitude practice that reminded me of all of the things that I have in my life. Then I moved on to adding on what I desire, what does my heart’s dream desired and wanted to bring into my life. Finally after getting to know Mama Gena well bragging became the third essential tool that provided the foundation for self-worth and acceptance.
- Grounding Practice with the Divine. With 2012, my big sweeping resolution is to bring expand my spiritual life. For me this has included the following: a daily forgiveness practice, prayer, daily 10th step inventory, and meditation. I do this imperfectly but the point is that I am doing it in on a consistent basis.
- Affirmations. I cannot say enough the power of the words I say and my thoughts. I know it felt hokey in the beginning. I felt silly saying outloud “I am strong enough. I am available for more than I ever had before.” Yet by including it into a daily practice of faking it until I make it, and doing exercises such as IntenSati my affirmation muscle grew strong each day. I now have the power to reframe my negative thoughts into a positive message, to look at the situation from a different perspective.
- Movement Practice. Whether is my daily walk to work (I don’t have a car which makes me lucky) to my group fitness classes, when I move my body on a regular basis my mood gets stabilized. I am present. My body is working more effectively.
I know its a lengthy blog post, but I am curious to hear from you if you have any other loving practices, tools in your basket. Feel free to share them with me in the comments section or email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
If you are struggling to create your own love basket, let’s setup a sparkling session!