Yup you got it right, the number on the scale or my bank account no longer has the power to dictate my state of being. It is just a number not a happy or feel like shit pill.
This summer has been full of amazing awakenings. My bank account a few weeks ago was at a low .22 cents for a week or so. It was quickly replenish on my next paycheck which I am grateful for my job.
During that week, I had a choice to feel self-pity or continue to enjoy life as it was already happening around me. I chose the latter. I spent time with friends doing free stuff in NYC. I had class credits that I needed to use which was fun. Most importantly, I was reminded a day at a time that no matter what I would be taken cared for.
I am hard worker and during this time I became willing to see other opportunities in which I can be of service and earn extra money. I have been serving as an assistant to various projects. I took advantage of volunteering opportunities coming my way. Life continue to grow as I really took the steps to be present in it, to dive into what it’s like to feel uncomfortable in this place. Most importantly to see what it’s like on the other side.
How does it relate to the scale?
As I look at my relationship with my bank account, I noticed similar patterns to my experience with the scale. It is something that I dread seeing because I always felt shitty about it. No matter what it was, it was never good enough. The constant running thought through my heed was whether I needed to have more money and/or weight less than I was. I couldn’t fathom practicing acceptance around my life as it was in the moment. I used the scale and number in my bank account as my higher power that would dictate how I felt. I gave my power away to something that couldn’t soothe me.
What actions have I taken that supported this shift?
- Awareness of my relationship with the scale and my bank account. Really sitting with the fear and how it feels in my body. This was huge! As my typical M.O. is avoidance, denial and let’s push it down.
- Sharing honestly about what was going on. It removed the isolation and shame. Yes I had to say no to a few things, I had to ask for an extension on others but I made it through.
- Alignment of what my true needs and desires are and taking actions that supports them. Guess what? Beating myself up over the number in the scale or my bank account won’t get me any closer to what I want. So why waste my time?
- Awareness of how I speak to myself makes a difference. My thoughts do have the power to create my reality. Using affirmations, staying positive, having moment of stillness and quiet, and being conscious of what I engage around me has the power to bring more opportunities for nourishment and financial success that I couldn’t think possible.