A few weeks ago, I found myself in the despair and anxious around money. At the end of the day, money is one button that can trigger survival/not enough/ catastrophic anxiety.
Money in the form of “steady paycheck” is the core reason why I stayed in a job that only gave me crumbs and allowed me to live out my biggest fear by living beyond my means.
Money was the currency of control, of making me feel small and a place where I can hide by giving it all away and some. Fun-fucking-times!
As I am aware of this pattern and on-going headspace conversation. I decided to surrender it all.
By surrender, I mean I asked the Universe to show me signs/ a way out of this despair.
Within 10 hours, I received the following:
- Qualification that was about someone experience/strength/hope around overcoming underearning
- Referral to read this book: The Mindful Way through Anxiety: Break Free from Chronic Worry and Reclaim Your Life by Susan M. Orsillo, Lizabeth Roemer
- Assignment by my mentor to say the following for 5 minutes once a day “I love money & money loves me”
Boy this was not the sign that I wanted to receive yet it was just what I needed.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to practice discipline on a daily basis in the process of healing my relationship with money.
If I go back to my old habits/thought process, I fall into a rabbit hole of deprivation, not enough and tunnel vision. I stopped being open to new opportunities coming my way. I stop embracing the idea that miracles happen every single day. I will and have the power to make long lasting changes only if I focus on them one day at a time.
It takes work to be conscious of every thought that I have that is in conflict with what my desires and beliefs are. It can be done. Just one day at a time.
Then there is the little fact that I must healed my relationship with money. I have to be open to the idea that the relationship can be transformed from abusive to love. I know it is possible because I experienced a similar gift with food.
That’s where the mantra comes in “I love money & money loves me.”
If I love money how would I treat it? Would I pay attention to what comes in as well as what comes out? Would I be willing to treat it with respect and not debt further? Would I be able to have an honest conversation around what my financial picture? Would I be willing to pay myself first no matter what as opposed to quickly give it away? Can money co-exist in my bank account?
If money loves me, what would that look like? Would it mean that more money is on its way? Opportunities for energy exchange happen?
For today I choose to focus on adding more love into my money. Allow my soul to heal and replace old stories/beliefs that no longer serve me. Be open to new possibilities.
My Dare to You!
If you are feel frustrated around your money, experiencing the “not enoughs” and are ready to try something different then I dare you to take a 1 minute break to say the affirmation “I love money & money loves me” out loud for 7 days straight. Notice the changes and report them back to me at firstname.lastname@example.org