Oh how I love your bitter taste. Whenever I drink you in the morning I feel my stomach ready to give up. If my stomach would talk this is what it will say “really more acid crap first thing in the morning, really again!” For the past 7 years, you have been a constant companion in my life.
We started our relationship while I was in graduate school in a starbucks nearby College Park, MD. You were a great companion as I managed to work 25 hours, do research and write 20+ pages papers. I remember those study nights that I would stop everything for just a cup of coffee from a nearby vendor.
When I moved to NYC and my budget was limited, I remember making up the space to accommodate your cost as it was an expensive habit. Yes at an average $3 to $4 a cup of coffee with two runs per day that would a good $8 per day. But somehow I made it happen. There were times that I tried to replace you with Red Bull in the morning (oh never again), or soda. But I would always go back to you.
When NYC started to post the calories, I saw that you were my 5 calorie friend maybe 90 at most if I add a sprinkle of skim milk or half & half. You were still my trusted companion.
As my life continues to get bigger my affection to coffee increased. Oh it’s the bitter taste that just feels like crap in my body and it reminds me of the old days. Its the comfort in the morning of walking into Starbucks and grabbing my large cup of coffee before starting my day.
So here I am 7 days into detox from coffee. I get to feel the headaches, the drop of “energy”and yet i wouldn’t change it otherwise. Each day that I decide to not sip a cup of coffee because its comfortable, I take another step towards my own self-care.
I choose to let it go because it no longer serves me as I move toward bigger dreams and desires. I choose to honor my body by taking care of it as best as I can.
As one of my students shared last week “You were good to me but I now deserve better.” Thank you N for the quote. Now off to bigger and better things like wearing my new tiara around the house (more on that later).