Hi Friends! It’s been a busy week at work! I am looking forward to the next few weeks when life hopefully get’s back on track. In the meantime enjoy this guest post on Honesty and Self-Love!
The phrase self-love assumes we have a solid sense of self to love. It is hard to love someone when you don’t know who they are. Honesty to self and others helps you have a solid sense of self to love. It helps form a coherent sense of self. It is a good antidote to self-criticism, guilt, and self-indulgence.
Honesty frees up the space to be oneself and to do, be, think, and feel something that you witness in yourself. Instead of changing who you are with each person you are with, honesty helps you have a more solid identity that doesn’t shift with each situation.
Honesty also helps form courage. Courage takes exercise. When you say “Yes, this is what I believe.” or “No I don’t want to do that.” it is an exercise in courage, in speaking up, and in being honest. Every time you speak with honesty, it exercises your courage muscle and makes it stronger.
Honesty also asks you to get real about your needs. Instead of blaming others, honesty asks you to notice what you need and to make it a priority. If you know you feel better with 8 hours of sleep and a morning yoga practice but you’re regularly sleeping for 7 hours before rushing off to work then honesty will cause you to admit that you’re not doing you own self-care. It will ask you to look first to yourself to increase your own sense of wellbeing. Admitting this to yourself may take courage.
Are you ready to give it a try?
Simple practice for being honest with yourself.
1. Take our your journal and a pen. Get ready to write to yourself. Or sit in front of a mirror and look in your eyes. Get ready to talk to yourself.
2. Use the format of writing down or reading the questions then answering immediately with the first thing that comes to mind. Write or speak for 2 minutes then pause and reflect. Ask the question again and see if there is anything else that you want to say or write.
3. Finish as many questions as you chose to do today. Then take a moment and put one hand on your heart and one hand on your lower belly. Breathe into your body and say words of gratitude and love. “Thank you” and “I love you” are good, simple choices.
Questions to Promote Self Love through Honest Reflection
1. What foods bring me joy, energy, and clarity? What foods do I eat in order to ‘numb out’? What other roles does food play in my life besides nourishment?
2. How do I want to wake up in the morning? Is there a morning practice like yoga, journaling, or meditation I want to do? Do I want to be alone or with others?
3. What practices feed me and help me feel better? What things do I do that leak my energy?
4. What do I feel and think about my body? Are there ways I punish myself through how I treat my body? How do I show self-love through my care of my body?
5. Are there beliefs I am holding that no longer serve me (think money, body image, relationships, intelligence)? What are these beliefs? Do I remember the first time I thought them? How are they still serving me today?
6. Name five critical things I think about someone else in my life. How are these things true about me? Can I offer these aspects of myself compassion and inclusion even if they never change?
The questions for honest self-reflection are endless, but I hope these serve as a good point to get started. Once you begin the journey of honesty, you tend to want to keep going. The extra energy that is freed up from no longer hiding yourself from yourself and others feels wonderful. The increased trust you’ll feel in yourself and your ability to handle others criticism allows you to walk through the world with more confidence. You and others will trust you more. Your courage will increase with each act of honesty.
How is honesty changing your life? What do you discover when you are honest with yourself? Please share with us!
Kassandra Brown is a parent coach and lover of honesty. She lives and works at Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage in rural Missouri.