Confession: Sabotage

Things have been going really well in my life. I have experienced the high of performing burlesque, faced a few fears with flying colors and even got to experienced a whole new level of acceptance. Professionally, I have been juggling multiple projects and doing really well. Personally, my relationship with my family has vastly improved over this past month. I have an awesome tribe of friends who continue to amaze me.

Lot’s of good stuff coming my way.  What do I do?

I just sabotage. Yup, if things are going well I find ways to sabotage because well its safe.

How have I sabotaged? This time around I started drink coffee again. Love the taste but sticking with decaf for the time being. For a couple of weeks, I spent eating a very sugary muffin for “breakfast” and then paying the consequence at lunch because I was starving since sugar doesn’t constitute a nutrient based meal that my body is accustomed. Then it was the working late and feeling tired so skipping out on workout classes.

Why? Stress from working long hours didn’t help the cause. In addition of facing a few MAJOR fear, I have been swamped at work.

I can also see the timeline I started to do the minor sabotage here and there a few days before my show and before seeing my family. It was an old comfortable way to “prepare” what was to come. Intellectually I knew it didn’t work yet my survival instinct went back to what was comforting.

What happened? I got sick! I finally stopped and rested. I will share on the next post how am I going to approach this sabotage spree differently and get back on “good things are coming my way life track.”